Dakota Access Executives Pepper Sprayed And Attacked By Dogs


The Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) protests took another turn today as executives from Dakota Access oil company were accidentally attacked by their own private security forces with pepper spray and vicious dogs.

According to John Thomason, spokesperson for Dakota Access, sixteen executives were bitten by security dogs. At least 30 executives were reportedly pepper-sprayed.

“We are shocked and saddened by this attack,” said Thomason. “The FBI will be investigating this matter and we will prosecute whoever caused this atrocity to the fullest extent of the law.”

Up until this point the company security forces and dogs have only been deployed against Native American protesters, some of which were pregnant.

According to Steve Sitting Bear, spokesperson for the Standing Rock tribe, they are just as perplexed as anyone as to why this happened.

“I don’t know why this happened,” said Steve Sitting Bear. “Their own men and dogs turned against them? It’s almost like they’re trying to build an oil pipeline through a sacred burial ground and they’ve been cursed or something.”

It is unclear what caused the Dakota Access company’s own private security forces to turn on them. Some have suggested that the security team was meant to attack the protesters again but simply made a clerical error and arrived at the wrong location.

“Pretty sure I put the address into my GPS correctly,” said one member of the security team, who asked to remain anonymous. “It’s possible that I put the address of our employers in by accident.”

The news media has vowed to continue to ignore this story as long as possible, as their corporate owners have deep ties to the energy industry.