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God Responds To Trump’s Claim About Being ‘The Greatest Jobs Producer God Ever Created’

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Hello, humans.

I don’t usually do this, but today I feel compelled to personally respond to someone taking My Name in vain. Today at his first press conference in months, Donald Trump actually said “I will be the greatest jobs producer that God ever created.”

HA! Yeah right. This from the guy whose most famous catchphrase is “you’re fired!” For every one person that gets hired, he fires 15 other people. And the whole process takes months! He’s easily one of the greatest pricks I ever created.

But you know what? Maybe I’m being too hard on the pathetic human. There IS one thing that he is excellent at producing. Bullshit! He is one of the greatest producers of pure, uncut bullshit lies the world has ever seen. As president he will be a total disaster.

Trump is one of the worst things I ever created and for that I am deeply sorry. He makes Me regret creating mankind. He makes Me regret creating free will. He makes Me regret everything.

Here’s the truth, humans. Free will has led to reality being utterly absurd. Through your greed and hatred you’ve chosen this and now you have to live with the results. Your economy will crash harder than it ever has before. Millions of you will lose health insurance. And millions more will never ever take the blame for their own stupidity in choosing this raving lunatic.

What is more sad? The fact that Trump is this insane, stupid and president-elect? Or the fact that there are 50 million people just as stupid and insane who will support him no matter what lies he speaks?

Maybe I’ll go for a long walk now and ponder the nature of existence. Or maybe I should take a few bong hits and play some videogames. That always tends to cheer God up.

Anyway, the point is this.

THOU SHALT STOP SAYING AND DOING STUPID AND CRAZY THINGS ALL THE DAMN TIME.

The LORD has spoken.

SHARE if you agree that Trump (and everyone else) should stop saying and doing stupid and crazy things all the damn time.