In response to Donald Trump Jr. comparing Syrian refugees to poisoned Skittles that should be thrown away, Wrigley Americas (which makes Skittles) announced today that it is removing all orange Skittles until Trump is defeated.
“Skittles are candy. Refugees are people. Trumps are orange con-artists,” said Denise Young, VP of corporate affairs for Wrigley Americas. “We can’t sit back and do nothing. In protest of the Trump comparison, we will be removing orange Skittles from all new bags of Skittles that are produced. This ban shall last until such time that Donald Trump Jr. recants his comparison and apologizes, or when Donald Trump is defeated in the election.”
This move represents perhaps the boldest political statement ever made by a corporation. Usually corporations prefer to quietly bribe politicians in Congress.
“Skittles is tired of being used as a political pawn and now they’re taking matters into their own hands,” said longtime Republican strategist Carter Wrenn. “This is troubling news. Independents are known to love Skittles…this could very well swing Pennsylvania.”
“If I have to choose between Trump as president or orange Skittles in the world, I will choose orange Skittles every time,” said Democratic strategist Krystal Ball. “Of course, I’d choose a bag filled with human feces over Trump. I’d rather eat a sandwich of broken glass. You get the picture.”
Since news of the Skittles controversy, Trump has dropped 6 points in national polls.