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Noah’s Ark Theme Park Destroyed In A Flood

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The new ‘Noah’s Ark’ Theme Park in Williamstown, Kentucky was destroyed in a flood earlier today. The sudden flash flood only seemed to affect the location of the Ark Encounter Theme Park, which was set to open to the public today.

“From a meteorological standpoint, this is quite confusing,” said Dan Schmidt, a forecaster with the National Weather Service. “There were no storm clouds in the area. We’re calling this flood an act of God.”

Religious group Answers in Genesis was behind the construction of the ill-fated theme park. No one was injured in the flood, although founder Ken Ham was left financially devastated.

“I don’t understand,” said a crestfallen Ham. “There is this book…all the answers were in this book, the Bible. It told me to build an ark. Why did God forsake me?”

The park recently announced that they would only be hiring Christians to work there.

38 Comments on "Noah’s Ark Theme Park Destroyed In A Flood"

  1. Michael Boos | July 10, 2016 at 10:49 pm |

    I came for the humor and stayed for the comments. I love it when the brain dead speak. The information imparted here has all the value of a wet sack of hair. Please carry on. The wisdom you provide is priceless. (In this case that means … it has no value at all.)

  2. life is Great | July 10, 2016 at 11:20 pm |

    Real Entertainment of the Misguided… lol Trump Trump Trump..

  3. John Michael | July 10, 2016 at 11:30 pm |

    Good question? Were there Bigfoots on the Ark? Must have been as they are still here amongst us?

  4. John Michael | July 10, 2016 at 11:35 pm |

    Good question? Were there Bigfoot Creatures on the Ark? Must have been as they are still here amongst us?

  5. that doesn’t stop religious nut-bags such as yourself from doing petty things.

  6. alvin herrington | July 11, 2016 at 12:46 am |

    Steven you need to re-read, he had clean and unclean, and the numbers were different. re read.

  7. There was another dude over in the next town that was responsible for the plants.

  8. The Tower of Babel is where God confused the languages and that’s where your answer is. After the flood .

  9. Not true

  10. Of course, the clean were Jewish, no Christians around at that time…

  11. The article is a joke, a parody, but not real news
    http://www.snopes.com/noahs-ark-park-flooded/

  12. The global flood was caused by the impact of several meteor fragments into the north american ice sheet at the end of the last ice age, some 12 to 13 thousands years ago. It caused what is referred to as the era of the younger dryas.

  13. God is very fickle. With his great flood he killed off the whole human race except for the 8 Jews of the Noah clan. This shows how much he loved the Jews, his “Chosen People”. However, When Hitler murdered 6 million Jews, this same God didn’t lift a finger to save any on of them!

  14. The Truthful One | July 11, 2016 at 1:42 pm |

    If you want to listen to the religious/superstitious nutjobs, the world was populated by INCEST, not once, but TWICE.

    Religion was created in the attempt by our primitive and ignorant ancestors to assuage the fear of the unknown. Today, religion continues to thrive on the fears of the ignorant. And we, as a species, allow it because we have been trained/indoctrinated to think of religion as a boon to mankind. It isn’t. Religion is a hate filled business venture that thrives on the fear it creates. Religion is the lingering past.

    The basis of your Christian ‘beliefs/delusions’ starts with the ‘Adam & Eve’ story. Genetics has proven the ‘Adam & Eve’ story in Genesis to be impossible. Without the ‘Adam & Eve’ story, there would be no ‘Original Sin,’ there would be no need for ‘Jesus.’ Without ‘Jesus,’ the Christian religion falls apart completely. Your whole religion is base on and relies upon a story that could not be true. All evidence points to this FACT.

    GAME OVER.

    —————————————————————-

    It’s easier to fool people, than to convince them that they have been fooled.

    –Mark Twain

  15. You are a riot, don’t know if anyone has clued you in NOAH DIDNT EXIST! In fact the “ark story” is a flood story told by many cultures, the Noah on was lifted from the Sumerian flood myth, READ YOUR HISTORY before making a complete fool of yourself. It’s happened also about 25,000 yrs ago when sea levels suddenly rose wiping away coastlines around the world. There are many old cities in the sea. Sudden release of water damned up in the Black Sea to a similar sort of event happening at the polar ice caps are the reasons why.

  16. Jo Ann Lewis | July 11, 2016 at 6:26 pm |

    It’s obvious that you have never read the Torah!

  17. so funny! including the commenters who take themselves too seriously and havn’t the sense to recognize satire when they see it. SHEESH!!!

  18. This is a fake article people. SATIRE. Geez. Yall will believe anything won’t you? I live in Kentucky, not too far from there. I promise you, this is fake.

  19. Kinda like the Bible, n’est-ce pas?

  20. Here are some more quotes from Mark Twaine:
    “When the first con-man met the first fool, religion was born!”
    “When one man has halucinations he’s crazy. But when a great mass of oeople have halucinations, that’s religion!”

  21. Kenny Cagle | July 12, 2016 at 6:58 pm |

    I know article is satire (but we can all hope).

    So are you saying gawd has a purpose for children to be molested by pedafile priests? That 9M Native Americans slaughtered by white men bringing Xtianity to ‘Merica had a purpose? What about the 6M Jewish men, women and children killed in Nazi concentration camps as also having a gawdly purpose? Can you still say “praise be to gawd” when the suck f**k allows things like this to happen? If you can, you are as pathetic and useless as your god. #BetterWithoutGod

  22. Hilarious!

  23. Hilarious.

  24. Yes, this is surely a spoof, but Ken Ham is actually a well-known creationist and, in fact, founder of the Ark Encounter museum. But it wasn’t destroyed in a flash flood.

  25. Anthony Hegedus | July 13, 2016 at 2:48 pm |

    Read your bible? I don’t have a bible, because I’m a sentient being, and I don’t believe it animals in the sky.

  26. roy vincent | July 14, 2016 at 6:19 pm |

    the noah story is older than the biblical version it is the second story of the tales of Gilgamesh

  27. NickDanger | July 15, 2016 at 1:02 am |

    You this read wrong !

  28. You actually make it seem so easey with your presentation but
    I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand.

    It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

  29. You really make it seem so easy together with your presentation however I find this
    topic to bee actually one thing that I believe I
    would never understand. It seems too complex and very huge for me.
    I am looking forward to your next put up, I’ll attempt to get the cling of
    it!

  30. God murdered hundreds of millions of people in the Great Flood which is practically the whole human race. Compared to this, Hitler’s murder of 6 million Jews is just a picnic! And now they are building this ark in Kentucky to celebrate God’s Great Murder! These are the people who will kill you if you try to get an abortion!!!

  31. So the Thumpers are spendig $100 million to build this memorial to celebrate God’s murder of the human race (except for 8 of the Noah clan)! Compared to this mass murder, the holocaust was just a picnic!!!!

  32. To the American Taliban,
    (Bible Thumpers)
    Now
    you
    spend
    $100 million
    to
    build
    a
    monument
    to
    celebrate
    God’s
    mass
    murder
    of
    the
    human
    race
    which
    makes
    the
    holocaust
    look
    like
    a
    picnic!
    I
    don’t
    think
    you
    are
    entitled
    to
    a
    tax
    rebate
    of
    $18 million.
    Cough
    it
    up!

  33. God,

    Please have the heavenly hosts moderate the comments on this blog. It’s all internet gambling and other nonsense.

    Thank you, your loyal follower.

  34. Clearly God has sent him a message.

  35. holy jeezus.

  36. Spending $100 million plus $18 million in tax rebates to make a monument to celebrate God’s mass murder of the human race including millions of women, children, and babies born and unborn is a heinous crime!

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