WASHINGTON, D.C. – Speaking on the White House lawn, Pope Francis began his trip to the USA by launching an attack on those who would threaten immigrants and deny climate change.
“Mr. President, this country of America was made by immigrants, which is why the Donald Trump is un burro…a donkey,” said Pope Francis in English. “Mr. President, I have seen the Republicans on the TV and they are muy estupidos…very stupid.”
Pope Francis, known for being outspoken on his progressive political beliefs, also spent time discussing climate change.
“Mr. President, climate change is a major problem,” said Pope Francis. “The Republicans want to destroy the planet for their own avarice. They also do not care about the poor or immigrants. They have forgotten the teachings of Jesus and what it means to be Christian. They are loco.”
Conservatives on Fox News immediately responded to the Pope’s comments.
“The Pope is a gay atheist who wants to kill babies,” said Mike Huckabee, a Republican presidential candidate. “He mixes politics and religion and only a lunatic would do that.”
“The Pope is a loser and an illegal alien!” said an enraged Donald Trump, who called into Fox News to comment. “Him and his Muslim buddy Obama are both losers. Trump will get rid of them, Trump will get rid of all of them!”
Pope Francis will speak to Congress next, where he is expected to rip the Republicans in Congress several new assholes.