HELL – Satan Incarnate held an impromptu press conference today to announce his endorsement for president of the USA.
“After much deliberation, I have decided who I want to be president,” Satan said. “This decision was not made easily. After all, they’re both so intrinsically evil, I could easily have gone either way. But after much deliberation, I, The Prince of Darkness, have decided to officially endorse Donald J. Trump for President.”
Satan said that Trump’s desire to use nuclear weapons is what pushed him over the top.
“Listen, I appreciate Hillary’s brand of blatant lying, rampant greed and in-your-face corruption. However, I simply cannot pass up this chance for global thermonuclear Armageddon.”
Satan promised to hit the campaign trail with Trump soon.
“I look forward to joining Donald on the campaign trail and further assuring the utter triumph of evil on planet Earth. Maybe someday, after he has served for 24 years, he can replace me as Satan. Donald Trump would make a great Satan.”
Reached for comment, God said he has not endorsed either of the two candidates and has no plans to do so.