Passions are running high this election year and people are angrier than ever. Both presidential candidates picked guests for the third and final presidential debate Wednesday night that intensely hate the other candidate.
Donald Trump’s Guests
Malik Obama. President Obama’s estranged half-brother hates gay marriage and loves Donald Trump. He will be there to glower at Hillary Clinton all night long.
Gary Busey. Gary Busey will be there as ‘moral support’ as Trump considers Busey his best friend. Busey is being considered by Trump for Secretary of Education.
Dennis Rodman. The former Apprentice contestant and NBA player made waves by visiting North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Rodman is being considered by Trump for Secretary of State.
Billy Bush. Trump’s accomplice in PussyGrabGate, Bush remains a stalwart Trump supporter. Bush is being considered by Trump for his Chief of Staff.
Ted Nugent. The former rock and roll star, right-wing gun-nut and raving lunatic will not be allowed to bring guns into the debate. Nugent is being considered by Trump for Secretary of Guns. It should be noted this position does not currently exist.
Clint Eastwood. A lifelong conservative, Eastwood strongly supports Trump. Eastwood is being considered by Trump for Secretary of Movies. Eastwood has also been granted an extra empty chair that he can talk to.
WWE Wrestler ‘The Boogeyman.’ Trump once appeared in a scene with ‘The Boogeyman’ for a World Wrestling Entertainment broadcast. The two became fast friends. ‘The Boogeyman’ is being considered for Secretary of Defense.
An Email Server. Trump has also gained access to putting a private email server in the debate hall that he can nod to. The random email server that was just purchased from Best Buy is being considered for the position of FBI Director.
Hillary Clinton’s Guests
A Famous Psychologist. Hillary Clinton has invited world famous psychologist Albert Bandura to the final debate. She is likely to suggest that Trump visit a psychologist as he is desperately in need of mental health services.
A Hitler Impersonator. Hillary Clinton has also invited a random Hitler impersonator to appear at the debate. She is likely to say something like, “Donald Trump has been compared to Adolf Hitler many times. This is an extremely valid comparison, and even Hitler agrees.” The camera will then show Hitler in the crowd, who will raise his arm in a salute and nod vociferously.
The fireworks will fly tonight when all these guests meet at the debate hall! Who will win the debate? Who will lose…besides everyone that watches it?
Please be careful out there with the debate drinking games. You might end up passed out naked in the middle of the street.