NEW YORK – A new report released today proves that billionaire presidential candidate Donald Trump is a not-so-distant relative of Adolph Hitler.
“Trump is related to Hitler on his paternal grandmother’s side,” said Charles Perry, director of the National Genealogical Society, which released the study. “She lived in Bavaria and married Adolph Hitler’s grand uncle from Austria-Hungary, Johann Drumpf.”
Upon marrying Trump’s grandmother Katherina, Johann Drumpf made a name for himself in local politics. However, he was soon banished from his hometown by local authorities for inciting violence against Hungarians.
After this incident, Johann Drumpf moved with his wife to the German town of Kallstadt and changed his surname to Trump in an effort to escape his shameful past. The other Drumpfs would later change their surname to Hitler, also in an effort to escape their shameful past.
“This was the critical detail that was missed in all previous research of the subject,” said Perry. “With the aid of a translator, we searched the town archives of Kallstadt and found this revelatory information.”
Johann and Katherina had a son they named Frederick, who would later move to the United States. His son Fred made a fortune in real estate and later fathered Donald.
“I’m proud of my family tree,” said Donald Trump, learning of the connection today. “Hitler was a great leader who made Germany great again. I’ve read all of his books several times.”
“Look, just like in America, Germany was having trouble with a particular religious group,” continued Trump. “Adolph Hitler didn’t give in to the PC culture or the liberals. He spoke his mind and got things done. Hitler’s fabulous, just terrific. I can’t think of somebody more great to be related to.”
Since news of this broke, Trump’s supporters have posted thousands of comments all over the Internet, defending and praising Trump for being related to Hitler.