Vice Presidential Debate Quickly Descends Into Curse-Filled Brawl


What was expected to be a boring debate turned into a rabid fight on Tuesday night, as both vice presidential candidates cursed multiple times before punches were thrown.

The debate was going as one might expect until a question over tax returns. Republican VP candidate Mike Pence suddenly used the c-word to shocked gasps from the audience. Democratic VP candidate Tim Kaine retaliated by using the a-word, the d-word, and the f-word in reference to his opponent. Kaine went on to suggest that both Pence and Trump are “obviously not very well endowed” and that is why they are “dictator wannabes.”

An enraged Mike Pence responded by standing up, dropping his pants and exposing himself to his opponent, the moderator, the audience, and millions of viewers at home. He then went on to further curse at his opponent, using the b-word, the p-word, the g-word, the n-word and the q-word in the process.

Insulted and outraged, Kaine stood up himself and challenged Pence to a fist-fight, bouncing and shaking his fists much like a boxer from the 1920’s. Naked and foaming at the mouth, Pence launched himself at his foe while screaming anti-gay obscenities. The VP candidates were quickly pulled apart by the Secret Service and the debate came to an early end.

“Before watching this I had no idea which one was which, I mean they’re both bland white dudes in their fifties,” said an undecided voter who watched the event. “Now I know that Kaine is the guy who punches like an idiot and Pence is the guy with a tiny dick and genital warts.”

Political fallout from the incident may be severe as both candidates scramble to find different cardboard cut-out white guys to replace the ones they already have.